Take Time to Celebrate Success

4 Tips to celebrate success

Take Time to Celebrate Success


The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate. — Oprah Winfrey

How did things go last week? Which do you recall more, the successes or the challenges? There were successes, actually many of them. Did you take the the time to enjoy the success or were there too many pending challenges to take time to reflect?

If you are like many of us, the busyness of everyday crowds out our time to reflect on our accomplishments. We are busy in our multi-tasking mindset, trying to manage numerous things at the same time with little extra time. It seems that the only celebration is in the form of relief that something has come off the list of things that need to be done. Accomplishing something just gives us more opportunity to work on the other things demanding our attention.

When we take the time to reflect and consider our accomplishments, we most always find that we are winning. Who would have guessed it? It sure doesn’t feel that way. There are so many things demanding our attention that we do not even realize that we are winning in our battle for success. Most of the things we attempted worked and if we are focused on the right things, actually moved us ahead. We did the work, but didn’t take the time to appreciate the success and enjoy the satisfaction. Yet, achieving satisfaction is one of our biggest drivers toward undertaking an activity in the first place.

Satisfaction is the net reward of success. It is the great feeling that we get when we accomplish something that aligns with our values. It is the big reason we set out to accomplish something in the first place. Work without satisfaction is just a job. Work that provides satisfaction is success. We need to recognize our success to continue to motivate ourselves to achieve more. Not recognizing our success is like winning the game but not looking at the final score on the scoreboard. We have earned the opportunity for the satisfaction, we need to be sure to enjoy it.

The true impact of our celebration is to reinforce our learning. The things we learn from each experience are probably more important than the thing we accomplished. Our learnings go with us forever and the thing we accomplished we leave behind. Taking time to celebrate our success allows us to tie what we learned to our positive emotion of satisfaction and make it available to us as a positive tool for use in the future.

So let’s celebrate! Woo Hoo, we did it! Good for us! When we reflect on last week there were a lot of things that went our way and were accomplished. Large and small, the things we did worked. We held our own in a meeting, everybody got to school on time, we made progress on a big project, we even found time to cut the grass. A lot of things went well thanks to us.

It is important that we reflect on the accomplishments that were important to us. Of course we want to please other people, but if at the root of our activity we are not pleased with ourselves, we will not achieve satisfaction. Don’t be afraid to privately pat ourselves on the back. We deserve it. We do not need to be overly boastful, but we deserve the recognition for the things we accomplished.

We should also offer others the opportunity to celebrate with us. It may surprise us to find that others noticed our accomplishments and are excited for us as well. Who knew they even noticed! We are all pretty busy and just like us, they sometimes just do not have the opportunity to express appreciation.

How about it! When we take time to look at the scoreboard we are actually winning and we have a fan club! How cool is that!

So let’s take a look at some of the things we can do to make sure we celebrate our success. Here are 4 tips that we can use everyday:

Take Time to Seek Advice

4 Tips for seeking advice

Take Time to Seek Advice

“All of us, at certain moments in our lives, need to take advice and receive help from others.” — Alexis Carrel

There are times when the best thing we can do is to seek advice from someone with more knowledge, wisdom or differing point of view. We do not know everything and we all have flat spots that keep us from having a full perspective on every subject. There are times we need to ask others for their advice so that we can gain more information, sort through the perspectives and come to an informed opinion.

No matter the area of our personal or professional lives, we are always encountering new choices that require additional information to allow us to make a good decision. Whether choosing a new car or making an investment for our retirement or a tough decision at work, we need additional information to form a thoughtful perspective as a basis to make our best decision.

A starting point is often seeking more knowledge. We need more facts and reality-based information to help us know more about the subject and the options. Which are the best products or services, are there alternatives, what do they cost and what benefit do they return? These are just a few examples of the core fact finding that we need to pursue to become more informed on the subject, before moving forward.

The next area to pursue in forming our perspective is to seek the wisdom of others. In this area there are many tools we can use to seek the perspective of others. By examining the feedback others have provided through reviews and comments we can gain the benefit of their opinion. Examples include looking at the ratings and discussions on an Amazon purchase or considering the feedback on Yelp about a restaurant. In addition we can talk to others that have experience with the product or service we may be considering or talk with others that have made the same decision recently.

Before fully forming our own perspective, we should consider the opinions of those with a differing point of view. Consider carefully why others hold a different opinion. Is it a majority or minority opinion? Using the Amazon example, we should carefully consider the advice of the few that gave a lower rating in their feedback. Was their feedback based on actual use while others were commenting on the initial purchase? Was the restaurant review based on actual experience or reflection of the way it used to be? There is real value in understanding the objection as well as the recommendation.

The best people to turn to are people that have traveled this road before. These people have been through some sort of evaluation process and came to a conclusion. If they moved forward with a purchase or entered into an agreement to move forward, they will have a first-hand view of the relative success of their decision. We may not agree with their decision process or even their eventual choice, but we will have another data point from another perspective to base the formation of our perspective.

We need to be prepared to sort through the advice and separate the fact from opinion. Both are good, but we use them in different ways. The facts are the things that actually happened or are directly provable as part of our evaluation, while opinion is the qualitative review of the decision and can vary with the bias and experience of the person providing the feedback. Both are good forms of input and ultimately help paint an accurate portrayal of the opportunity. We just need to be sure that we separate the two in our consideration of the appropriate action to take.

Now that we are more deeply informed, we will need to consider all of the input and synthesize a perspective. Considering the facts, opinions and experiences we will need to decide which point of view best represents our findings. There will be facts that help us understand the full dimensions of our choice and opinions that both support our inclination and challenge it. Ultimately, we will have to make a decision, but now we are at a point of much higher knowledge upon which to base our decision. Having completed our analysis, we can make our decision and know that we made the best decision we could at the time.

So how can we seek advice to improve our decision making? Here are 4 tips for seeking advice:

Take Time to Process

4 Tips to make time for processing

Take Time to Process

A lot of things happened today, and the day before, and last week, well come to think of it last month as well and we have been really busy. And that is the problem, we have been so busy and inundated with information and events, and we have not had time to process all of it.

By some estimates we see over 5,000 advertisements per day. Some of us receive well over 100 emails per day. Then there are the tweets, text messages, news stories on the Internet, 24 hour cable news and commentaries; some of which we agreed with and other we found unsettling. In addition there were the comments made by friends and acquaintances that we did not fully internalize, then there was that comment from the boss, and that peculiar look from across the room to the comment we made. Wonder what that was about?

That is a lot of communication with a lot of information and that was just today. Each day is similar, from the time we get up to the time we go to bed we are flooded with incoming communications. What is worse we are enabling this flood by maximizing our exposure through the use of our technological devices such as smartphones, tablets, computers, laptops, television, radio, podcasts, video sharing and more. We have communications input devices in front of our faces most of our conscious hours.

Here is another thought, when was the last time we were bored? I mean really bored with nothing to do? We are so addicted to this flood of input that a recent study indicates that some of us would rather receive an electric shock than spend 15 minutes alone with ourselves. We have shortened our span of attention to the point we do not even know what to do when we have a few minutes to ourselves.

We need time to process. When in all of this busyness do we get the time to process all of this input? When do we get the chance to reconcile all of the various conflicting information, or consider the important things that were said or reflect on the things that did not seem to fit with our thinking or understand the strange reaction to something that was said?

And then when do we have the time to deal with the emotions as we start to analyze today’s happenings, when do we purge the things that do not matter and put away the thoughts that we want to keep?

Pretty soon we find that we are not the people we want to be. We are stressed, confused, tired, anxious and impatient. We find ourselves surprised at our own overreaction to what should be minor annoyances and are unnerved at how unprepared we feel for everything.

Processing time is essential to our well being. We need time alone with our own thoughts to think through our experiences and deal with the emotional baggage. Some of our thoughts are helpful for the future and need to be placed in our long-term storage. Others need to be considered and discarded. We need time to live through the emotional replay of the input and deal with the implications. Once the emotions are played out we need time to resolve the outcome into new actions or opinions. We need time to let the bad emotions out and go away. We need time to straighten up our mental house, put things away and to take out the trash.

Some of this can be dealt with by our subconscious while we sleep but there is a portion that we have to process while we are awake. These thoughts cannot be ignored. We are hard-wired to make the connection between our conscious thinking and our subconscious. We can’t solve or let go of problems if we don’t allow ourselves time to think about them.

Our creativity stems from our ability to put new ideas together when we are not processing the past. Our deepest thinking happens when we are able to empty our minds and let it roam through our experiences to help us rationalize our reality and apply new approaches. We have to be able to empty our minds of the inputs we have backlogged to be able to have forward thinking. When we do not provide sufficient time for thinking and processing we are actually lowering our productivity. Our busyness and multi-tasking actually produce less than if we take some time just to process.

So how do we get more time to process? Here are 4 tips to make time for processing:

Take Time to Listen

4 Tips for better listening

Take Time to Listen

“Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.” — Winston Churchill

Take time to listen to people. It is easy advice and it makes sense and yet seems very hard to incorporate as a habit. We are all very busy and when we get the chance to communicate one-on-one we often find that we are not really listening to the other person, we are just using the time that they are speaking to frame-up our next thought. That is not communication, that is speechmaking. Communication requires that someone is listening.

While stating our opinion and offering advice feels good and is important, there are times when refraining from talking and just pausing to listen can be even more effective and persuasive. Listening without distraction, really listening to the other person can help us better understand the issue being discussed. By taking time to truly listen we also provide space for the other person to provide perspective that may alter our next thought. Additionally, pausing to listen provides the feedback that we value their opinion.

While this seems readily apparent, it is not our common practice. We tend to pause to allow the other person to talk but not process what they are saying and just use the time to formulate our next attack on their perspective. Sometimes we use the filibuster technique of monopolizing the available time for conversation under the belief that if the other person does not get a chance to object, they must agree. Of course, in reality that does not work, it only serves as a barrier to keep the other persons perspective out of the conversation (or should I say monologue). In fact it really sets up conflict as the other person has to battle to get their perspective heard at all.

We will be much more effective leaders and partners if we take the time to listen; really listen. Stop, take a breath, ask a leading question and then listen to what the other person has to say. Chances are we actually value what the other person has to say or we would not have allowed the opportunity for this conversation to take place. We benefit from the perspective of other people, so let the other person talk. We will probably learn something as well as reinforce a give-and-take relationship for future conversations.

Nothing bad is going to happen to us as a result of listening. We can always ignore the advice or feedback if it does not fit. We do not always believe everything we hear, but hearing it does give us the opportunity to evaluate our perspective. There is no downside to being a good listener.

We all could do a better job of listening. Here are some tips for being a better listener:

Personal Vision

A quick process to create a personal vision statement

Personal Vision

What do we want to be when we grow up? Certainly when we were much younger that was a question we often answered with some type of hero-like image. Firefighter, police officer, nurse, doctor, or other larger than life image that served as a type of super hero to our impressionable minds. As we view ourselves, what is it we want to be? How do we want other people to see us? What drives our satisfaction? What qualities do we hold valuable and what accomplishments will make the biggest difference to us and others?

Our vision sets an image of ourselves in the future having achieved things that seem impossible at the moment. Our vision represents an unconstrained picture of what we want to be without regard to the seemingly impossibility of the achievement at this point. We need to dream big, imagining not only the material aspects of our lives, but relationships, connections, lifestyle and spirituality. We need to imagine the best possible scenario for our everyday existence that pushes all of our positive buttons. This is our “If we can dream it, we can do it” moment, no holds barred in our thinking.

To a large degree it comes down to how do you define success? In all likelihood it is more than the accumulation of material things. History has proven many times over that the accumulation of material things as an end in itself will not be fully satisfying. For many the raw accumulation of wealth without a purpose will not be a satisfier as an end point as well.

Our satisfaction is driven by our achievement for a purpose and our connectedness to the world around us. The old adage is that very few people in their end days say I wish I had spent more time at work. They more typically say I wish I had spent more time with people, family and friends. So our vision must include our total being and not just the material aspects of our existence.

What do we want our life to be like when we get there? There is more to life than just work and achievement, what is the value of the achievement? We need to think about who we will be helping and how those around us are better off as a result of the things we have done. To achieve less will be a hollow victory when we realize that the result was less than the best we could have done. We will be disappointed when we realize the excellence target was missed because we did not fully consider how we impact others and the satisfaction we draw from that accomplishment.

So what does a vision statement do?

  • It describes who/what I want to be in the future (when I grow up)
  • It answers the question, where do I want to be?
  • It paints a picture of what I want to be on some time horizon, say five to ten years
  • It inspires me to be more than what I am today

Now let’s create our personal vision statement.

There is Nobody Like You

4 practical tips for being you

There is Nobody Like You

“We are perfectly designed to be who we are.” — Skip Gilbert

We are each individual masterful creations, unique in our talents, experiences and our dreams. There is nobody like us and nobody else can fulfill our mission. We are perfectly designed to be who we are. Sometimes we lose track of who we are or why we are here. It is easy to be swept up in the busyness of the days that turn into the busyness of the years and lose track of just how valuable we are. It is easy to be swept into the thinking that we are part of a group and transfer our identity to being a member of that group and not realize the we are fully unique in every way. While the path toward the future may be hazy, the trail we leave is perfectly clear.

Interesting enough, as I look back on my career, I can see that it was in fact a straight path to where I am now. Each piece lined up to facilitate the success of the next step and allowed me to continue on my journey toward excellence.

In hindsight I see that what I learned in one situation I was able to apply to the next and keep my progress moving forward. The path change only facilitated the growth to the point where I am now as a unique individual. Nobody else has been down the path I have been down and nobody has had the same experiences and shares precisely the same talents. As a unique individual I am at the point of being a unique asset to any situation or organization that solicits my assistance.

It is the same of for all of us, we are all unique individuals with a unique set of talents and experiences. Nobody else has the same background or has the exact same history. The perspective we have developed is uniquely our own and that makes us a highly valuable resource overall.

We are on a unique journey and have a unique mission that only we can accomplish. It does not matter what others think is the right path to get to the destination, our path is unique and all our own. It is that uniqueness that leads to our ability to provide a perspective unlike anyone else.

Sometimes we wander off our path and try to be like others, but it is really a wasted effort. They have a unique set of talents and experiences and as a result they have a unique perspective all their own. We can never really think like someone else so to try to do so is just a waste of time. We are pursuing our own destiny and we are the only ones that will be at the destination at the end of our journey.

There will always be someone better than we are. No matter how hard we try, there will always be someone more capable, more experienced with a reputation as a greater authority. There will always be someone who is more attractive, has more money, more outgoing or more talented. It is just the way things are. We will never be the best at anything other than being ourselves.

However, we should never let that stand in our way. Our mission does not require their talents and capabilities, our mission is uniquely designed that only we can fulfill the requirements. There is nobody better at being us than we are.

Now let’s go forward and with the full confidence of our unique value, be ourselves.

Here are some practical steps for being ourselves:

When Risk is too Risky

4 tips for managing risk

When Risk is too Risky

The biggest risk is not taking any risk… In a world that (is) changing really quickly, the only strategy that is guaranteed to fail is not taking risks. — Mark Zuckerberg

When taking a risk is in itself too risky we are in a very bad place. Life is full of risk and there is no avoiding it. We take a risk every time we do something. It is a risk to get out of bed, we could fall and hit our head and suffer terrible injury. Equally, if we manage to get out of bed we could slip and fall in the shower, severely lacerate ourselves shaving, choke while brushing our teeth, trip while putting on our shoes, and so forth and this is all before breakfast.

We are surrounded by risk and it is just part of the human condition. There is a risk of a negative consequence around every thing we do. At any point something could go wrong and the consequences could range from inconsequential to terminal. There is no way to avoid things happening.

There is also equally a chance of a positive outcome from everything we do. We could wake up one morning to find that we have won the lottery, our terminal disease is in remission, our broken relationship has been mended, we are becoming more attractive as we age and our lost dog has returned home. These things can all happen as well and they are just as likely to happen as the bad things. Many good things happen to us every day, but we tend to worry about the bad things and forget about the good things. This is especially true if we are not moving toward excellence in our lives where we have an opportunistic outlook and see risk as a no-lose proposition.

Where we lose our way is when we can only focus on the negative outcomes and exaggerate the likelihood of them becoming our current reality. We then become engaged in a depressing spiral of looking for the bad because we are afraid of the bad and then become over sensitized to the unfortunate things that happen to us every day.

How many times have we commented that after someone points something out to us we see that very thing more often? Perhaps a unique model of car or something unique about a song or something similar. I certainly have noticed that once I am aware of a specific song I hear that song everywhere I go. The reality is that they are not playing that song because I am in the area, it is just that I have been sensitized to that song, and now I am more aware of it playing than I would have been previously.

Do you remember when you first learned to ride a bicycle or taught someone else to ride? I remember seeing a hole in the road as I was learning to ride and the more I focused on that hole, the more I steered my bicycle toward that hole and sure enough, eventually crashed as I drove into the hole. It was almost as if it had a magnetism to it that I could not escape. The reality was that there was over three feet of road on either side of the hole, but because I was so focused on the hole and what would happen if I fell in it, I ended up driving right into it.

It is much the same when we consider risk. If we are focused on the negative branch of what can happen, we will start to look for it and be more aware of it happening in the world around us which will further feed our fears. This cycle can build on itself to the point that we are convinced that bad things are happening to us and we are more likely to cause the negative thing to happen as we subconsciously draw nearer to it.

This can work to our favor just as easily. If we focus on the positive branch of a possible outcome, we will become more aware of it happening in the environment around us and we will start to draw nearer to the possibility that it will happen to us.

Risk is just part of our lives. There is no escaping it and it is not a bad thing. However, if we see risk as a bad thing, it often becomes our reality. We manage risk by placing ourselves in a no-lose situation such as by adopting a journey to excellence. When we embrace change and risk, and view it from the perspective that we are resilient enough to deal with the bad things that might happen and intelligent enough to learn from our experience then there is no way to lose. We set ourselves free from the bondage of worry about things we cannot control and find that the magnetism of the things that go right pulls us to a higher performance and level of satisfaction.

Here are a few suggestions for managing risk:

Motivated or Lazy?

4 Tips for being a better leader

Motivated or Lazy?


You don’t lead by hitting people over the head—that’s assault, not leadership. — Dwight Eisenhower

How do you see people, naturally motivated or lazy? Do you think the average person inherently dislikes work and will avoid it at all cost or do you assume that if people are treated fairly and positively that they will perform at a higher level? The way you answer these questions may tell a lot about how you manage people and the likelihood of your success.

These two different approaches to management are often referred to as Theory X and Theory Y based upon the research of Douglas McGregor at the MIT Sloan School of Management. In his book titled The Human Side of Enterprise he identified two fundamental models of management contrasting the differences in workforce motivation applied by managers.

Theory X is based on an authoritarian or perhaps more traditional style of management. These managers assume that people are lazy and are not motivated on their own to work. This type of manager sees it as their role to force or coerce the worker to perform work and people are largely viewed as a cost to the business. Managers who subscribe to this approach tend to see people as the following:

  1. The average person is lazy, dislikes work and will avoid it if at all possible.
  2. Most people have to be intimidated, controlled, directed or threatened to get them to work toward organizational goals.
  3. The average person needs to be overseen, will avoid responsibility, is not ambitious and simply seeks security.
  4. Workers will take every opportunity to slack off, will not achieve their potential and require close supervision.

Managers who practice Theory X are often autocratic and controlling and believe they need to drive people to make them do their work. These managers tend to micro-manage, are extremely task oriented and not largely interested in developing relationships with their subordinates. Little effort will be expended toward developing a positive work environment and recognition and appreciation is rarely shown. Workers in this environment tend to be motivated by fear and feel unappreciated.

A significant aspect to Theory X management is that people are the first to blame, not the process. If something is not working as expected it is assumed that the employees are at fault and should be observed, reprimanded and perhaps even have their employment terminated.

Theory Y on the other hand is based on a more enlightened view based on a model of human need for higher order achievement. These managers believe that if workers are treated fairly and positively with respect for them as individuals that they will perform at a higher level. Mangers who subscribe to this approach see people as the following:

  1. People are naturally motivated to achieve as more of their basic needs are met.
  2. People will exercise self-direction and self-control to achieve organizational objectives.
  3. The average person is willing to accept and seek responsibility as part of their quest for self-fulfillment and seeks recognition for accomplishments.
  4. Most people have the capacity for imagination, ingenuity and creativity and produce more when engaging these skills.

Managers who practice Theory Y are often more participative when making decisions. They value input and the results of collective thinking and value relationships. They tend to see and treat people as individuals and encourage each person to fully apply themselves to the situation at hand. These managers tend to empower their people and trust them to do good work. They tend to see employees as important assets to be invested in and important to the business. Employees in these environments tend to feel appreciated, motivated and part of something larger than themselves.

A significant aspect to Theory Y management is that when problems arise the manager and the employee attempt to examine the issue together as a team and examine where both people and process could improve.

Current research and common experience indicates that Theory Y management will lead to better results. People feel that they are part of something larger and are encouraged to achieve more for the benefit of the business and their own self-fulfillment. They are encouraged to engage the more positive side of human behavior and focus more of their energy on accomplishing the mission.

At times there may be a role for Theory X management when in an extreme turnaround situation or something of that nature, but generally this approach produces inferior results. That is not to say that people should not be held accountable for their results. Quite the opposite. However, with appropriate structures in place Theory Y will outperform Theory X on most occasions.

So here are a few tips for being a Theory Y manager:

Make Yourself Valuable

It's about relationships

Make Yourself Valuable

Valuable

Everyday it seems there are headlines that jobs are being moved offshore, automated or eliminated. We do not have to look too far in our personal networks to find someone that has been impacted by this trend. Globalization is causing a shift in resource alignment as businesses search for lower costs and larger markets. In addition the United States economy continues to shift from a manufacturing economy to a service economy causing a continual restructuring of business resource needs.

With the trend of the commoditization of labor due to a larger global market and the reduced time employees are choosing to stay in their current positions, business is not investing as heavily in career development training as in the past. The Chicago Tribune reported on a study conducted by The Society for Human Resource Management (SHRM) that “virtually all professional and career benefits tracked in the survey declined between 2010 and 2014.”

The news is not all bad for those of us who pride ourselves on adaptability. As it turns out, many markets for domestic white-collar jobs are growing. Forbes reports “Over the past decade, business services has emerged as easily the largest high-wage sector in the United States, employing 19.1 million people. These are the white-collar jobs that most people believe offer a ladder into the middle class.”

Our challenge is to adapt to this new market. In the service business the relationship of business to its customers has never been more important or valuable than it is today. With the economy shifting to a service-based model and social media redefining the communications model, relationships have greater emphasis than ever before.

Relationships have always been the key to business. Going back as long as commerce has been around, relationships have driven the market. Whether it is the personal referral of a local contractor for home repairs or the corporate connection to other businesses, it is driven by relationships. Even in the age of online shopping, it is often the opinions expressed in the reviews of the buying community that impact the purchase decision.

So what can we do to ensure our marketability in this changing market?

The Power of Thank You

The Power of Thank You

What if there were two simple words that when said with sincerity would mend broken relationships, open the door for considering opposing views, enhance our health and improve productivity? Would we use those words? What if we found that we could have all of those benefits and it cost us nothing, would it be worth it?

Two of the most powerful words in our vocabulary are thank you. Those two words have a proven healing and motivational power beyond compare and yet they may be the two most underused words in our everyday conversation.

There is a considerable body of study and commentary around this idea. The following are a few pointed examples:

According to a study published in the Harvard Gazette, the group of individuals involved with fundraising that received a visit from a director to thank them for their work placed 50 percent more calls than the group that did not receive an expression of gratitude in the same period.

Science Daily reports that in a study of 468 married individuals, the results indicated that the spousal expression of gratitude was the most significant predictor of marital quality.

The Wall Street Journal reports “Adults who frequently feel grateful have more energy, more optimism, more social connections and more happiness than those who do not, according to studies conducted over the past decade. They’re also less likely to be depressed, envious, greedy or alcoholics. They earn more money, sleep more soundly, exercise more regularly and have greater resistance to viral infections.”

The evidence is clear that the simple expression of gratitude in the form of thank you delivers significant results and yet is is often the most forgotten part of our conversation. When we offer a simple and sincere expression of our gratitude it serves to reinforce that we acknowledge the effort and accomplishments of an individual (or a group) and care about them as individuals.

Human relationships are too complex to be able to provide a simple explanation for how we react to each other. However, it is clear that relaying gratitude through simple expressions such as thank you seems to be a very powerful expression. And get this, it costs us nothing to say thank you. It does not diminish us as a person, in fact a case can be made that it increases our stature. It does not cost us any money, quite the opposite, it tends to increase productivity. It really costs us nothing and we are the direct beneficiaries of maintaining an attitude of gratitude.

So why is thank you so often forgotten? Frankly there is not a good explanation. The most likely excuse is that we become too busy. Everyday we are faced with countless challenges and issues and it seems they never end. Perhaps we become too embroiled in these issues to realize that it is the people around us that actually deal with those issues with and for us. Given the positive power of the use of thank you, this is not a very good excuse.

So here is the magic formula: