What if there were two simple words that when said with sincerity would mend broken relationships, open the door for considering opposing views, enhance our health and improve productivity? Would we use those words? What if we found that we could have all of those benefits and it cost us nothing, would it be worth it?

Two of the most powerful words in our vocabulary are thank you. Those two words have a proven healing and motivational power beyond compare and yet they may be the two most underused words in our everyday conversation.

There is a considerable body of study and commentary around this idea. The following are a few pointed examples:

According to a study published in the Harvard Gazette, the group of individuals involved with fundraising that received a visit from a director to thank them for their work placed 50 percent more calls than the group that did not receive an expression of gratitude in the same period.

Science Daily reports that in a study of 468 married individuals, the results indicated that the spousal expression of gratitude was the most significant predictor of marital quality.

The Wall Street Journal reports “Adults who frequently feel grateful have more energy, more optimism, more social connections and more happiness than those who do not, according to studies conducted over the past decade. They’re also less likely to be depressed, envious, greedy or alcoholics. They earn more money, sleep more soundly, exercise more regularly and have greater resistance to viral infections.”

The evidence is clear that the simple expression of gratitude in the form of thank you delivers significant results and yet is is often the most forgotten part of our conversation. When we offer a simple and sincere expression of our gratitude it serves to reinforce that we acknowledge the effort and accomplishments of an individual (or a group) and care about them as individuals.

Human relationships are too complex to be able to provide a simple explanation for how we react to each other. However, it is clear that relaying gratitude through simple expressions such as thank you seems to be a very powerful expression. And get this, it costs us nothing to say thank you. It does not diminish us as a person, in fact a case can be made that it increases our stature. It does not cost us any money, quite the opposite, it tends to increase productivity. It really costs us nothing and we are the direct beneficiaries of maintaining an attitude of gratitude.

So why is thank you so often forgotten? Frankly there is not a good explanation. The most likely excuse is that we become too busy. Everyday we are faced with countless challenges and issues and it seems they never end. Perhaps we become too embroiled in these issues to realize that it is the people around us that actually deal with those issues with and for us. Given the positive power of the use of thank you, this is not a very good excuse.

So here is the magic formula:

1) Pause and Reflect. Just for a moment, pause in our current conversation and reflect on the individual. Think of a recent time that person achieved something on our behalf or went out of their way to do something for us.

2) Say “Thank You”. With real sincerity simply say thank you and explain why.

It is not more complicated than that. Pause, reflect and express our appreciation. It will produce powerful results, but only if we really mean what we say.

This is a simple and powerful tool and I hope we all use it carefully and often. I want to say “Thank You” to you for taking time to be part of this community. I am looking forward to your comments and learning how you have used “Thank You” in your life.

Thanks,

Skip Gilbert

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